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jakuzeee

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Everything posted by jakuzeee

  1. jakuzeee

    Damn, I love Soldier

    Damn, I love Soldier. As soon as the match begins and I have the manly, clean shaved Sergeant all to myself, I know that nothing's going to stop me from smiling and laughing for the next hour or so. My secret is that I am the lover to my God of War. Soldier is my everything and he makes me feel liberated with his unparalleled patriotism. Soldier's kit makes him the ultimate lovemaking machine, like that is what he was built to do. I picture that I am a lonely subject, secluded on my bed in my quarters, when the Soldier walks in, removes his Kringle Collection, and shouts "LAST ONE ALIVE, LOCK THE DOOR!". In this moment, I know that Soldier will have his way with me. First, Sergeant will use his Disciplinary Action, a powerful burst of pure speed and pleasure that oozes to every crevice of my body, I feel as though I'm going to erupt with ecstasy. That is Soldier's signal that I am his for the taking... Next, He whips out his Cow Mangler 5000 and chug it into me like it was Vietnamese food ration, and suddenly I am on cloud nine, in a surreal frame of body and mind, and every touch of Soldier sends orgasmic chills down my spine, as though I am unable to even move, paralyzed by the insurmountable wave of pleasure overcoming me, it's as though my very life essence is being consumed, and Soldier further asserts his dominance over his loyal subject, my body is now his domain. By now Soldier has me right where he wants me, I try to tell him to slow down, but I am on his time now. While Soldier is the ultimate lover, I need to know that he owns me. My 'Murica Daddy keeps laying on the hits, so now, if I try to resist daddies urges, I will be punished with a crocket of both pain and pleasure... every squirm and gasp goes noticed, and I am beaten like a canine with his Pain-Train. It should hurt... but.. it doesn't, with each smack on my posterior I feel myself coming closer to the edge, and by now daddy knows that I am his. Everything I thought I knew about my body is out the window, none of it belongs to me, it belongs to Daddy Sergeant now. At this point I am ready to burst, It's as though the slightest movement will bring me to climax, but I know Daddy isn't finished with me yet... That's when he does it. Everything else had been child's play compared to what I would experience next. Daddy Sergeant inhales deeply, and before I could even react, my rear end had just became His dominion. Oh my God. The moment Daddy Sergeant graced me with his Freedom Staff in my Ham Shank, I came with such an incredible force and power, the likes of which I have never experienced before. My dear Sir didn't stop. Daddy blew into the Buff Banner with his sweaty lips, yelling "CHAAAAARGE!" as His member went deep down my rectum before unleashing his juices of love. "Now that was a Direct Hit!" Daddy wiped his now sweaty body, smiling, I could tell he was pleased with my offering. Since I had been absolutely depleted by him, Soldier tucked me in, and left as swiftly as he had entered. I didn't want it to end, I wished he would walk back in and take me all over again. But I started to doze off, I was so sleepy from my gargantuan orgasm, so I knew I had to catch some sleep, and just pray that I would dream it all over again... Damn, I love Soldier.
  2. jakuzeee

    i came for the memes

    fresh meme out of the oven
  3. jakuzeee

    Regarding Majiami player sphere

    choo choo ALL ABORD THE MEME TRAIN
  4. jakuzeee

    Active 6v6 Teams Directory

    Team Name: syndromeV Country: Singapore/Malaysia Preferred Division: 2 Preferred Times (incl. timezones): start 9:00/10.00PM til midnight. fri/sat/sun only. +8GMT. Team Leader: jaku Team Leader Steam URL: http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198022366239 Other Contact(s): linglok http://steamcommunity.com/profiles/76561198033463436 Remarks: hi we r div2 feel free to meme with us
  5. Hi guys. Serious discussion here. And no I'm not memeing, and I'm not shitposting this time So currently the +1 system is: 1. Either medic has a 1/2 chance to first pick in +1 2. Medics are picking alternately until they get a team of 6 So the flaw to this system is that, let's say that the number of players in +1 list is an odd number, whoever gets to first pick in +1, gets to first pick in Freepick as well. This means that you can get two of the best decent players in either team1 (theres no good/best players, just decent), ergo, you can stack the team pretty hard. Inevitably this leads to lopsided, boring 5-0 for both teams and a waste of my +1 IMO, medic who gets to pick second in +1 should be able to pick first in freepick. That's all. 1 Teejay, H. (2016, April). Saltboi Adventures. I'm the best fucking player in Asian TF2, 1(1), 34-35.
  6. jakuzeee

    I make Team Sheets!

    great initiative m8 its mildly frustrating that the texts are not aligned properly though
  7. jakuzeee

    Hirasagi Hayate

    Having played both with and against him, I can confirm that Hirasagi Hayate aka fRVena aka koku白 has shown great potential to become a top tier player. He possesses a vast knowledge of in-game mechanics on the Soldier class, being able to abuse map terrain to his advantage to win crucial 1v1s. Often turning the tides with key picks on the enemy Medic, Hirasagi Hayate’s influence on any given game has always been noticed, if not, appreciated and hated, by his team and the enemy team respectively. Medics have been warned; whenever they see a shadow in the sky, it is more often than not Hirasagi Hayate aka fRVena aka koku白, crashing down with the fury of a thousand Gods to take their lives, before escaping into the wind without so much as a thought on the travesty he has committed on the enemy team. His decision making and map awareness rival, if not, surpass the most veteran of players. Constantly coming up with clever hiding spots to surprise his unwary opponents, Hirasagi Hayate aka fRVena aka koku白 has always managed to outplay his opponents even though he may be at a vast number disadvantage. It is often too late to scream for mercy before the enemy gets obliterated by his rockets raining down on the hapless players. While his achievements on paper have been less than stellar, it has always been attributed to his incredible misfortune comprising clashing schedules, tragic incidents or lacklustre teammate commitments. I have no doubt that Hirasagi Hayate aka fRVena aka koku白will lead your team to a first place finish whether it may be via his back or as a supporting member of your team. Written by Daniel "Krabby_Patty" "Excellence" Lim
  8. jakuzeee

    4v4 team

    there is currently no 4v4 tournament in asiafortress also asiafortress is dying owai time to migrate to overwatch no kappa
  9. jakuzeee

    SKILL RATINGS 2015/2016

    Name: jaku Main: i don't have a main since i'm equally shit at all classes I would like to invite my brattan teejay (lucky div 2 player) to r8 me in terms of 1. Gamesense: (timings of pushes, picks and offclases, tactical ability and positioning) 2. Deathmatch: (individual aim and ability) 3. Teamwork: (quality of comms, competitive mentality, or tendency towards tilting/raging, usage of team heals) 4. (Optional) Dank Meter (0-10): Overall rating: (/out of 10)
  10. http://i.imgur.com/BHWe9U2.png As you can see, legend had higher dpm than moy. http://i.imgur.com/4cmdxZK.png In the meantime, potapro's demo won moy's demo 4-2 Potapro > Legend > Moy CONFIRMED #moycutforlegend
  11. Team Name(s)/Number(s): [10] Team Boleh Role (Player/Mentor/Backup/Backup Mentor): Mentor 1. Was the event overall a positive experience for you? Yes 2. What did you think of the event timing? (Too early/too late/too long?) Too long. Some players couldn't commit for all 5 games. Timing was good though. 3. In what areas do you think we did right for the event? Successfully finding substitutes even though ALL the backup players are not free. 4. What are the things which could have been done better? Mentors (including me) should tryhard less and actually do the mentor work (actually addressing where mentees done wrong). I feel that I was overwhelmed by the desire to win in a non-serious, casual tournament (my bad on that). We should have organised demo reviews post-game. 5. How much do you feel like you've improved after playing in the event? (Player/Backup) How much do you feel the newcomers in your team have improved during the event? (Mentor/Backup Mentor) Honestly they can't really improve their dm in 5 games. Hopefully this event can actually expose the basics of 6s to them (positioning, uber advantage, comms, etc). 6. How do you feel about the mentors/players who were assigned to your team? They were rather silent (rarely even comm at all), our pocket was really new and confused, our roamer is a bit too OP considering his DM skills obviously outclass all the other mentees (dealing 300-400dpm each). 7. Any other suggestions/feedback? We should host a newbie mix (to filter players who are actually committing for the game) in a weekly basis, just 1 or 2 map per weekend would suffice. But I feel that most mentors are already exhausted for playing 5 shana pugs today
  12. Albert Einstein, one of the greatest minds to ever live, was once perplexed by the speed at which teejay was able to soak heals from his medic every pug. Seemingly impossible 70% heal rate on teejay on scout every game was consistently observed, leading to the hypothesis that this was no fluke. Einstein spent the last years of his life trying to prove the ability of teejay's ability to yell "HEAL MEEEEE" existed within the laws of science. Critics laughed at his efforts, claiming that this was an undeniable act of divine intervention. It wasn't until the end when Einstein found the answer. On his deathbed, Einstein spent the last seconds of his life jotting down what is now the world's most infamous scientific formula. win=teejay * heal²
  13. jakuzeee

    Hello! BUT NEVER CLICK THIS TOPIC!! I WARN U

    dank memes i like
  14. jakuzeee

    Starting up on AsiaFortress: Hi guys!

    do you like memes?
  15. jakuzeee

    Hi guys

    hello people dont like to use the forums much
  16. jakuzeee

    Hi everyone I'm a woman new here from Thailand

    HeyGuys dont be rood please
  17. jakuzeee

    I CAN PLAY TF2

    there isnt a timetable for pugs so you should keep an eye when people start to flock to the servers
  18. jakuzeee

    My Goodbye

    \ BibleThump / SHOUNIC TAKE MY ENERGY \ BibleThump /
  19. HI LEGEND, I'M TRYING TO LEARN TO PLAY SOLDIER,BUT I HAVE A QUESTION ON THE ITEM CHOICE:SHOULD I USE COW MANGLER LIKE HOW BACKCAPPERS MANGLED YOU IN SNAKEWATER,MANTREADS SO I CAN GOOMBA STOMP LIKE HOW BACKCAPPERS STOMPED YOU IN METALWORKS, OR PANIC ATTACK LIKE HOW YOU CAUSED PANIC ON SALOON。TF jk #banter
  20. jakuzeee

    S A L T Y B O I S

    it was 11:01 in the morning. i woke up and browse through my server browser list just to find asia fortress servers to be 0/20. every single one of them. and what up with that 11/20 on shana server. i proceed to view game info and look at some unfamiliar pony-related username. but dear god i'm so bored so i just when in anyway. i managed to roll and get into spec. i spammed +1 but nobody knows what i mean. the medic got into a ayy lmao syringe gun fight and picked me anyways. i was at blu playing scout. apparently they were thais and i got an ez 350dpm as scout. it was 3-3 the score and my medic suddenly yells on the mic "PUTANG INA MOOOOOO!!!" as he shoots his 300 ping syringe gun across the mid point. he dropped the uber and we were all fazed in disgust. there were 60s left and our 2nd point was capped. the enemies and on the brink on getting the match point. at this moment i give up on all hopes and pressed the disconnect button. i stared in the blank, empty desktop. suddenly i got an invite from salty boi chongy. OH GOD HES STARTING A PUG IN ASIAFORTRESS. i hop in as the server starts to get filled up. the familiar camel shows up and everybody spam their spectator bind. oh god why are there 2 pony-related medics picking. the blu team starts to stack up with div0.5 players and the other with div π players. i proceed to get salty and go 24/7 sniper just to get 2 headshots the entire game, one on moose who were wandering in the wild wild woods and another one on otaku bokonon fapping away on animes and waifus in his fapcave somewhere in osaka, japan. i start to get salty and deafened myself when our team get steamrolled by teejay every single mid. it was 4-0. i went back to scout and start to tryhard. the opponents were starting to get retarded and went 2 snipers and 1 pyro. our demoman sticky jumped into the mid point and proceeded to get a 6k. there was hope. i think i could hear teejay's ragetalks across the universe "WHYY YOU NEVER GIVE ME BFUFFSSS??? OMGGGGG" the opponents turned on their tryhard mode and proceeded to wipe us at our spawn. 5-0 ezkatka no reporterino. i pulled off my computer plug and cried myself to sleep, licking my salty tears
  21. jakuzeee

    PSA: Current Status

    10 years since asaifotress pug. I woke up just to see the void outside of my window, just like the emptiness in my heart. I walk through the empty streets trying to think of something else but my pathway always leads to asaifotress. I stare at the screen thinking of the curries and tried to summon the camels. But is all meaningless. I do 300dpm evry tym in shana pugs and try to resist the nazi mods banning 2 sniper offclasses. But is all meaningless. The end is near. I then usually watch some old asaifotress vods and cry myself to sleep. No longer I can see shounic droping his medic and his worthless airshots after round wins. Maybe he'll throw better in csgo.
  22. jakuzeee

    What's up guys.

    heya! you can add me for the password #4 is a public PUG server, #1-#3 servers are limited to those who join the asiafortress pug group in steam community. yes it's open 24/7, but unforunately for a pick-up game to go live you need to wait for 12 people
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