Hope you're all excited for the last month of the year, and we all know what that means! CHRISTMAS! Well here at Asia Fortress we celebrate Christmas too!
But we have been keeping a secret from you all and it's time to come clean....
Last Christmas, our dearest sand camel was out on a ski trip with Admirable Fuzzbeard. They were enjoying their time off as admins in the busy world of Asia Fortress. They've decided to stay the night at a cabin in the middle of the forest that nobody occupied for some reason. No reason not to go in!
Everything was fine that night when all of a sudden... "FUCKING NIGGERS!" shouted Spammah as he woke up in the middle of a night to a loud noise outside the cabin. Sleeping in the same bed with him, Fuzz groaned out loud, "Whatis it? someone off-classing again?" as he casually stroked his beard and sat up on the bed.
"Nah Curry Powder I heard a loud noise outside", replied Spammah.
“Well I’ve watched enough horror movies to know what happens next. I’ll get some paper to start working on my will.”
“No you fucking nigger! We have to investigate. Don't worry, after my eye surgery I'm like Peter Pan from that fucking Dinsey Movie, I can meatshot anything!!”
“Don’t you mean Robin Hood….? But -sigh- whatever. Let my grab my comb real quick.”
“The fuck do you need to comb? Let’s go nigger their flank is weak!!!!”
“My beard is messy.”
After a brief period of verbal abuse, the admin duo finally make it outside of the cabin. As Spammah takes his first step into the icy cold, he yet again screams more expletives into the child friendly forest neighbourhood. Luckily for Fuzz, he was able to calm Spammah down by letting him hold his beard.
"Okay... So let's see here.... Where was that noise...." Spammah, whose middle name was Goldfish, was having difficulties in pinpointing the general whereabouts of the loud noise and decided to go for the most rational option. Despite the fact that the piece of equipment didn't have much relevance to the ski trip, Spammah went back inside to grab an aluminum suitcase. What's inside????
"Okay Fuzz. This radar is top of the line technology, I estimate we'll be able to find that mysterious noise in two hours."
As Spammah configures his radar, Fuzz comments “Why do you need the radar? Don’t you remember where the sound came from?” “WELL IF YOU’RE SO FUCKING SMART YOU TRY FIND IT FUCKING CURRY SNORTING CUNT” screamed Spammah. Fuzz examines his surroundings and spot a faint yellow light being emitted from behind the Cabin. “It’s probably you know, in that direction…” Fuzz comments. Fuzz awkwardly stands in the cold staring at Spammah’s angry camel eyes anticipating for a reply that would never come before sighing and leading the way.
What the two saw could only be simply described as a capsule. The capsule had a handle on it; presumably a hatch that opens to reveals the capsule’s contents. Upon closer examination, there’s a message on it. “WARNING: HONKEES”
Spammah places his two hands on the handle and starts jerking it. “Wait Spammah! We need to think about this rationally before we open this. Clearly something dangerous lies behind this door!” shouted Fuzz. Spammah paused his jerking to turn to Fuzz. He shrugs and then promptly goes back to jerking the door, attempting to open it. “SPAMMAH THINK ABOUT THIS” Fuzz warned Spammah. But no. Spammah want open, Spammah must open.
Eventually Fuzz passes out from exhaustion and Spammah, being a camel, kept pushing on. One of Spammah's humps were thoroughly depleted but at last......the capsule opened. Inside was what Spammah described as “yellow niggers”. These aliens were pulled out of the capsule, and were identified as “Shounic”, and "And". There were more aliens in the capsule but Spammah got tired and closed the door trapping the rest inside.
Shounic and And were brought back into the secret underground Asia Fortress Admin Cave to work in the secret potato farm, right next to the now obsolete padi field because of all the excess padi a fellow Vietnamese couldn't sell and just donated it to Asia Fortress.
Introducing the ASIA FORTRESS MASH POTATOS FOOD FIGHT!
That’s right my dear potatoes! The story didn't really explain anything but the idea is simple. You sign-up, we mix you all into teams. This competition will run for the month of December, and the winner announced at the end, along with a prize.
BUT IT’S ACTUALLY NOT AS SIMPLE AS THAT. (oh dang son)
Did you ever want to play with the best of the best? No? Well still, it would be fun wouldn’t it????? We have a mysterious list of Veterans who will be mixed into the teams with you. NOW THAT’S A MASHED POTATO.
How to Sign-Up: